the beauti-FOOL letdown

let me get something straight.

the main reason why i'm upset and crushed is mainly because i feel as if i've been letdown a whole lot.

you see, when i decided to do actuarial studies, my parents were all for it. they gave me the greenlight. they said go ahead, it's tough, but as long as you know what you're doing, it's ok. just do it.

so i set my heart and soul, my mind, and decided to just keep this ambition and pursue it. honestly, i was happy, coz it was the second time in life where i was sure i wanted to do something.(the first was dentistry)

i was so glad, so happy, that i told most ppl about it. my accomodation was arranged. i went to idp and waited for goodness knows how long to check out the student visa. i visited idp lotsa times to question my doubts and confirm things. i dreamt about it. i laughed about it. i felt as if i could finally get on with life and that my future is now much more certain.

then suddenly, no. you can't do actuarial science.

what do you think i feel???

i feel upset, pain and letdown.

yes, i understand that circumstances do not permit me to pursue this course, but then why say go ahead with it in the first place????yes, i understand that medicine can guarantee me a future as well, but it's just not wat i planned u know? yes, i am open for choices, and yes, i do have the slightest passion in medicine, but it makes a whole lot of difference suddenly forcing me to take a turn. a shocking turn, mind you.

why give me false hopes??

why can't you just say no??

by saying no, i would have dealt with the situation a lot better coz then i wouldn't have really soaked myself into that course.

can u see my point???

it's so much worse that you tell me NOW. when i have got not much time to decide, and medicine seems the only option left for me.

it crushes me you know. it just plain crushes me.

i have no further comments.

merry christmas to all