of my death..

*EDIT: ey ey, when i say my loved ones by my side while i die, i meant as company!! meaning they be there in presence while i die, and they walk away ALIVE! lol..i dont' mean company as in die for me!! but die with me, with me, meaning i die and they survive!!
LOL! so i guess i must be damn specific while wishing laaa...in case tiba tiba all the wishes gone wrong..then habis. LOL! *

the most horrible way to die, is to be forcefully pushed off the plane.

i was just scheming through this movie, the good sheperd, starring matt damon, angelina jolie and a few other famous actors.

just browsing through.

random clicks here and there, just to see what the movie is about.

til i came to this scene where a lady was on the plane reading a book and the pilot seemed to be getting out of his seat and heading towards the back while the other guy sitting behind her seemed to be curiously kicking at the door.

then the door flew open, and they both grabbed hold of her and threw her off the plane..

they showed her falling and falling and falling
arms flailing everywhere, kicking and just..... well, falling.

and i just sat in my chair and stared at the screen.

my god.

i tried imagining what it would be like being her.
being thrown off the plane while i was reading a book.
unbeknownst to her.
unbeknownst to me.

i swear, i'd be shit shit duper scared.
i'd have pissed in my pants already the moment i dropped out of the plane.
i'd be scared.
scared
scared..
SCARED!!!!!!!

then i tried thinking positive.

you know, since i'm already out of the plane, and i've got prolly a few minutes left before i die, must as well try and embrace the feeling of being able to fly rite...

so i tried imagining myself spreading my hands wide open (like a bird) while plunging metres and metres through the sky,

..
....
...

and i just couldn't.

i couldn't get myself to even IMAGINE me flapping my hands comically just to be able to fly.

i couldn't even seen the funny side of it, even though the chances of it happening is like, 0.1% to none.

i just knew that i'd die, and because i was dying, it didn't seem funny no matter how hard i flapped my "wings".

i was gonna DIE.

even if someone flew next to me and offered me a painless death (from being crushed to the ground), i'd still be terrified, but thankful, nonetheless.

yes, i would be THAT scared.

scared of the pain that may engulf me in a nanosecond?
maybe.
scared of the after-death-world?
maybe.
scared of dying alone with no one beside me to accompany me while i die?
definitely.

i thought about it for a little while.

you know, i wouldn't be so much afraid of dying if i just had the one or more person(s) whom i really truly love and care for by my side, holding me, and telling me that it's gonna be ok. (HAHA! irony. it's gonna be ok, when there's never gonna be a GONNA. GET IT? GET iT??lol) patting me and holding me.
just patting, and holding.

i suppose words of comfort on your death bed is one of the best things that may ever happen just moments before you die.
not the thought of having led a great life (though it may help a lil) but the thought of someone being there for you, even as you let your last breath go.

sometimes, just hearing the right words with every intention of comforting you is soothing enough, even if you know that it may not be true or that it may never come true.

..
....
..

and then i thought about it again.

maybe, words aren't all that important, coz what ARE words? and what CAN they really really do?

and then i figured.

maybe it's the presence and the human touch that is THE best thing to happen while lying at my death.

the feeling of being held and hugged and kissed and loved.
THAT'S what i want while i lie dying.

it's not that i want the ppl to shut up, but because i want the ppl to shut up and listen to what i have to say before i die. LOL.

but really.
it's the thought of someone being with me in times of trouble (or death) that is what means the most while i die. not the place i die, and not the way i die.
the person whom is WITH ME, while i die.

with someone as special by my side, i wouldnt be as afraid of facing death and i wouldn't be as afraid to die.
although i'm dying, but at least i died with someone holding me snugly.

it's like bliss for the dying-me.

which is why i think the best place to die (willingly or unwillingly) is in the arms of those whom you love and whom love you.

so i suppose the only time you can truly really tell who it is whom you treasure the most in life, is when you're about to die, and the one person whom you really want to see by your side, is THE one(s) in your life.

your treasure(s).

and that brings me back to my previous thought.

what IF, while i was falling from the plane, someone flew next to me and grants me two wishes, none of which i can wish to not die.

i'd wish for
1) a painless death
2) the ppl i love to be with me

obviously, this is MY sweet version of dying gruesomely.

so in reality, if i was falling from the plane, and someone were to fly next to me and ask me to choose between a painless death or having my loved ones by my side....

i'd honestly have to think about it a whole lot..
i'd think for like, 3 seconds, and as i am about to choose and decide on the latter option...

...
.....
....

i'd already have reached the ground and plummeted to my death, landing me in to so damn many pieces, that even the smallest bit couldn't be picked up by an ant.

that's life.

sigh.

what to do what to do....???

------------------------------------------------

yes, i can be so pessimistic at times, but oh welllll...

and don't worry.
i've already assigned my passwords and usernames to a trustable someone so that the news of my death can be published on my friendster, facebook, and of course my beloved blog.

so...when i die, you'd all know.

HEHEHHEHEH!!!!

and the best part is, you can still drop comments and testimonials on my facebook and friendster account because there WILL be someone managing them and approving them!!!

COOL RITE

so ppl, just keep those testimonials flowing even after i die...
who knows, i'd be able to read them k....

NYAK NYAK

p/s: and omg, it's damn potong steam if i die right after i post this. BLEH :S