the beauti-FOOL letdown

let me get something straight.

the main reason why i'm upset and crushed is mainly because i feel as if i've been letdown a whole lot.

you see, when i decided to do actuarial studies, my parents were all for it. they gave me the greenlight. they said go ahead, it's tough, but as long as you know what you're doing, it's ok. just do it.

so i set my heart and soul, my mind, and decided to just keep this ambition and pursue it. honestly, i was happy, coz it was the second time in life where i was sure i wanted to do something.(the first was dentistry)

i was so glad, so happy, that i told most ppl about it. my accomodation was arranged. i went to idp and waited for goodness knows how long to check out the student visa. i visited idp lotsa times to question my doubts and confirm things. i dreamt about it. i laughed about it. i felt as if i could finally get on with life and that my future is now much more certain.

then suddenly, no. you can't do actuarial science.

what do you think i feel???

i feel upset, pain and letdown.

yes, i understand that circumstances do not permit me to pursue this course, but then why say go ahead with it in the first place????yes, i understand that medicine can guarantee me a future as well, but it's just not wat i planned u know? yes, i am open for choices, and yes, i do have the slightest passion in medicine, but it makes a whole lot of difference suddenly forcing me to take a turn. a shocking turn, mind you.

why give me false hopes??

why can't you just say no??

by saying no, i would have dealt with the situation a lot better coz then i wouldn't have really soaked myself into that course.

can u see my point???

it's so much worse that you tell me NOW. when i have got not much time to decide, and medicine seems the only option left for me.

it crushes me you know. it just plain crushes me.

i have no further comments.

merry christmas to all

fucking screwed up..pardon the language

u know how it is, when u've decided that you want to do this, and your parents support u intially, and then somehow, they just stop supporting u anyhow, and try talkin you out of it?and i mean really really try talking you out of it??worse still..when other ppl sit down with them, and just....bang u continuously about carrying out your decision.

as u can see, from my previous post, i've made up my mind about the course that i want to pursue. actuarial science.

my parents were all for it, well, my mom to be more specific. my dad was just half-convinced, but convinced all the same. i calculated the cost for the entire degree, and it amounted to a reasonable amount, reasonable being the amount supposedly set for me for my education. of course, only if everything runs smoothly, and if i pass all the papers.

then my aunties and uncles all come down, one aunty tellin me beforehand that she respects my decision in pursuing actuarial science, and if that's wat i wanna do..so fine larh. BULL. PURE BULL.

we all sit at the table, and discuss...discuss...discuss..

and throughout the discussion, all 6 adults (my parents, 2 lawyers, an optomologist, and an ENT surgeon) alllllllllllllll requested for me to do medicine. they refused to hear what i had to say about me doing actuarial science. all they could think of was medicine medicine medicine. even when i said i DO NOT WANT TO DO medicine, and i LACK the PASSION FOR MEDICINE, it just landed upon deaf ears.

heck, my aunty even told me that there is a difference in doing what's best for you, and doing what you want to do. she compared my decision in being an actuarist to her wants of being the queen. PURE CRAP. i'm not stupid. but of course, i have to respect whatever she says and so i just shut up. i kept quiet. but of course, i was fuming.

and then they listed the risks of me doing this course that i have chosen. i'm just relating their reasons to you, the reader. i don necessarily agree with them.

1) it's not an easy course, and honestly, they believe it's a much harder course than that of medicine
~ i agree. i talked to a student who's currently in melbourne uni doing actuarial science, and i talked to an actual acturist. the student told me that as long as i don't really play the fool, then there should be no problem, and that the REAL problem only lies in the final year, and then my professional paper. the acturist told me he took 14 years to fully qualify as an acturist, problem arising from passing the professional paper. mind you, he was a brilliant and bright kid in school and in pre-u. those bright sorts lah u know. also found out that most ppl drop out of this course because they CANNOT pass the professional paper no matter how many times they retake it. i mean, it's fine not passing your professional paper. but if it were me, i'd rather pass this professional paper, and honestly, i'm not sure if i can pass it or not.

the acturist also told me, that his company only hire first class honours students, meaning that i really really really have to perform and scoreeeeeee like hell.
i'm not really so sure if i can score, but, well, i'll try my best lah rite???

i was also told that if i were to do med, all i need to do was just pass every paper and exam that i sat for in imu. meaning, easier compared to actuarial science. *rolls eyes*

2) you earn more money as a doctor than u do as an actuarist
~ no comments. i'm not really into that money business, but i think i prefer a much lighter job than that of a doctor. pardon me, but did you know that acturists don't earn THAT much??only if you're fully qualified, and hired by a big time company and manage to climb up the corporate ladder and end up with a big time position such as CEO or something only do you earn quite a sum, but still lower than a doctor's (what my aunties and uncles said).

somehow, i don't seem to care. i prefer a much more less stressful job.

the acturist further proved this point (about lower salary) by giving a range for his monthly salary. okkkkayyyyyyy

3) medicine is a much much safer route, coz as long as u graduate, you will definitely have a job. as long as there are ppl around, u definitely need doctors. supposedly, it'll take a very long time for the population to reach a saturated level of doctors as well. so u can never say that just coz there are too many doctors out there, you shouldn't do med.

4) cost of studying overseas to do actuarial studies
~ not cheap. but to do med locally and then specialize, amounts to the same or maybe even more. my dad insists that he rather spend his money on me doin med, rather than me doin actuarial science....proves how supportive my parents are....*rolls eyes yet again* my aunties told me i was being inconsiderate because i insist on doing actuarial science.

WHHHHHHAATTTEEVVVEERRRR LARHHH OK

i'm just so freakin confused now, and i honestly don't wanna be a burden to my parents, coz yes, to do actuarial science, it will cost a lot.. so much so that my dad will have to continue sloggin just to pay for my fees, and that is what i don't want. i don't wanna be a burden, ya know??

but one thing i just CANNOT get straight.

WHY TELL ME THAT I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT AS LONG AS I'M HAPPY WITH IT???WHEN I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE FEES, THE SUM, EVERYTHING, THEY WERE OK WITH IT. THEN SUDDENLY, NOOOOOOOOOO, YOU CAN;T DO IT. NO NONO.

SO WHY CAN'T THEY FREAKING TELL ME EARLIER????
WHY NOW???
BLOODY HELL...YOU DO REALIZE I'VE GOT ONLY LIKe.......ONE FREAKING MONTH TO DECIDE RITE???? (5 days if i HAVE to do med, coz payment deadline is on the 30 dec)

SCREW THIS MAN

i don't know if i'm gonna give in or not.

looks like i will.

i hate this

i FUCKING hate this.

my future....???

sooo...sam results are out. quite happy with it. LOL!!!! 98.55

haha..enough to enter unis and stuff.

so, initially, there were two options:

(i) actuarial science at melbourne university
(ii) medicine at international medical university (imu)

hehehe...results high enough to enter either universities..and so..she has chosen

actuarial science!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHH....actuarial sicence ain't easy man. i know of lotsa ppl who drop out halfway, and my parents are ok with me doing it, but dad keeps warning me bout failing and sorts like that....*takutnya*

i guess next year ain't gonna be a slacker of a year (like this one...haha..wonder how i managed to pull the whole year off amazingly)..hmm

anyway...i'm gonna miss everyone here in malaysia..... =(
but i'm not goin anytime soon, so keep the closest touch k....sadnyer...

congrats to all of S2, G3, and M2

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

post-less

she's awayyyyyy from the blogging world and has no sudden urges to blog. sad, eh?

haha..anyway..hongkong was fun. and if ppl go around telling you that stuff in hong kong are cheap??give them a slap in the face and say it's a lot more expensive than stuff in malaysia.

hongkong's version of petaling street sells goods at a much higher price compared to goods sold in the original petaling street in malaysia. althought the prices are bargainable, mind u.

wonder where ideas as such come from.

sigh.

don't be fooled, coz u heard it here first...=P (don't think i'm the first to point it out. watever. sue me)

(pardon me coz i'm feeling quite bitchy at the moment, yep, bitchier than usual..WAHAHHAHAAH)

bye..take care...

blessed christmas!!!

CHOCOLATES

my dad just came back from uk, and with him, he brought back 4 boxes of ferero rocher, as it was a lot cheaper there.

also, he brought back another box of chocolates(with different flavours) by nestle courtesy of his friend..very very yummmy!!!i've been eatin it non-stop..haih..doesn't help me lose my 3kgs that i put on eh??anyway...something interesting in that box of chocolates...

a no-girl eatin chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHATT???

honestly, i haven't gotten to eating that one yet. shall try soon though. check out the pics!!!

p/s: i'll be away for 5 days starting from tmr at 6.45 am..shall be in hong kong..miss u loads yea!!oh, and my handphone will be flying with me to hongkong and i'll remain contactable. u can sms me...but try not to call me??coz then..wahhaha..i'll have no credit by the time i'm back in malaysia...hhehhehehe...see ya'll

ciao and take care

chocolates!!!!!!!!!!!!

my box of chocolates

the no-girl chocolate....-_-"

WHAT???this chocolate is NOT for girls??????

a closer but blurer picture

the christmas treeeee is up!!!!!!!!!1

YESHHHHH!!!! we put up the christmas tree today. mommy, justin and i..WAHHAHAHAHA..KEMBANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait for christmassssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPPPPY XMAS TO ALLLL!!!!!!!!

the christmas tree with some light switiching gizmo

the christmas tree

an amazing discovery

i was having a lil talk with justin (recap: my 5-year-old brother) who looks like this:

meet the brother, youngest of the family, adorable as always, but annoying when he wants to be. LOL.

so anyway, on with the discovery.

it's no big news to me that he can't pronounce his L's and Y's properly.

for example, mary has a little lamb, always sounded as if mary had a Y-ittle Yam when he sings it. lol. i nvr really paid much attention to this, until today, while i was talking to him. i like testing him sometimes, and i love hearing his mis-pronounced words. veryyyy cutelllarhhh

so...what i did, was to have him copy my words, say the exact same thing i said before him.

*in mommy and daddy's room*

suwen: justin, follow what i say okkkk??
justin: huh??okkkkk
suwen: ok ok ..say yoyoyo
justin: yoyoyo
suwen: lololo
justin: yoyoyo
suwen: yoloyo
justin: yoyoyo
suwen: loyolo
justin: yoyoyo
suwen:......-_-" (why they all sound the same wan????)
ok ok ok...say......yayaya
justin: yayaya
suwen: lalala
justin: yayaya
suwen: yalaya
justin: yayaya
suwen: layala
justin: yayaya
suwen: ok ok ..say LERH...LEERRHH
justin: YERRHH...YERRRRHH
suwen: ............*quite speechless*
suwen: ok ok ...say hallllllllloooooo
justin: hayyyyoooooooohhh
suwen:................ok ok say...
justin: AIYA..I DON WAN SAY ADI!!!!!!!KEEP QUIETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
suwen: .............................................................

sigh.

lil brothers.

can't live with them, can't live without them. but soooooooo cuteeeee lahhhhhh!!!!!!!

hehehe..

merry christmas!!!!!

the one where su wen gets a hair cut

erm...i've been wanting to cut my hair for a long time. so, while waiting for my turn at the mykad counter, i did. erm, i regret cutting my hair?

lol. nahh..it's not that i don't like it or anything, coz i do. but i dunno, i prefer my old hair cut. ahhhhhhhhhhhh...pls remind me to TRIM next time and NOT cut. AHHHHHHH...

pictures posted below. feel free to comment on the hair cut. =P

the old hair cut..

the new haircut...ppl say my eyes look scary in this picture..LOL..i kinda agree

the new cut!!!!

the 2nd official class trip (to langkawi)

ok. i admit. i took the short way out, and posted lotsa pictures instead of bloggin about the trip in detail which was my original plan. hahaha..was too lazy to continue my half written post. pictures do say a thousand words after all, and i guess it's easier for both of us (me the writer, u the reader) to understand what exactly went on in langkawi. LOL

honestly, langkawi has taught me about a lot of things. things that even i would never have thought of. things of both the good sides, and bad sides.

BUT

WAHAHAHAHAA...i enjoyed the langkawi trip TOTALLLLLLYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's cool how i got to know most of the s2-rians in more detail in this short period of time. spending lotsa time with each other really opened my eyes a whole lot more and enabled me to see the bigger picture. i'm thankful for S2 and i can never say this with much more vigour than i can now.

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE S2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TAKE CARE MAN!!! each and everyone of u!!!whenever u're in town or anything...gimme a calll man!!!!!!!!!!!!keepp in touch, friends forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S2 rox....(as denny would say...S2 roxxor....=P)

cheers ya'll
god bless

p/s: post bout prom will be up soon..=P

ok...uh...tze meng's idea of a unique picture..with me standin like that, and the lampu shining over my head.....erm.....i like the scenery???the small red green lights...-_-"

dejun, chuisan, meng, yuyee, yiping, kwanchian at the rock supporting the eagle..i was actually casting my shadow on to the rocks too in tries of a more unique picture..hhaha..looks like the flash too powerful lah...ehhehehe

some guy sleeping whom we caught half-naked..thank go the upper half k...WAHAHA..if it were the bottom half...i'd have taken even more pictures and laughhhh nnoonn-stopppp.....don't worry..we know the guy...=P (sniggerrrsss)))

WAHHAHA...alllll the poser-ness in them starting to timbul at the dataran lang place...nottt badd ahhh???RESPECT!!!!

suet,suwen,yuyee, and yiping at that cable car place...ahaha..we were high high above the sea level...i looovvee the view from there

chuisan, suwen, yuyee and yiping at dataran lang in the middle of the night. it was quite a nice place actually, and we were just ber-bonding there by talking and posing the nite away..LOL!!mr yong came up with the idea of a rock album cover, and mana tau, mr yong used to be in a band man!!! langkawi fm was also quite a shocker...to those in mr. yong's car...TEST POWER!!!TEST POWER!!!!!WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

john lookin spiffed...dunno why..haaha..denny's hawaii shirt in the background..hibiscus eh???denny the patriot!!!! RESPECT!!!!

WOW....710 METRES ABOVE SEA LEVEL???WAHHHHH

from left to right, steven, issac, weichuen, michelle, suetning, suwen

chuisan and suwen in the mist!!!

a dark picture of us..check out issac's hair...noooottt baaddd ahhhh

a view of the cable car station..looks like some space shuttle thingie

suwen and john

suwen and issac while lepaking at the cable car place thingamajigie

the perfectly engineered, architectured bridge

steven and i on the bridge

most of us at the cable car place, from left to right; weichuen, chuisan, michelle, meng, denny, suwen, yuyee, yiping, suetning, john

YESH!!!! i am taller than 100 cm after all!!!YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

check it out!!!652.2m above sea level

5 girls at the upper part of the cable car in the rain

a very nice picture of chuisan and her raw-then-cooked-then-overcooked eggs

view from the cable car coach

WAAHHA..me and john stuffing meng's head into the dustbin!!!resembling the photo meng and i took for drama...cruelllll mannnnnnn

weichuen and issac. issac was a lil freaked out by the cable car and heights and so on..haha..our fall would be cushioned though by the trees below..hehhee..a painful fall it would be if the cable were to putus suddenly..AHHHH

the waterfall!!!taken from the cable car while mounting up

us at the dataran lang place. photo taken by mr. yong

yuyee, meng and me at the cable car place

erm..4 out of 5 of us in the cable car..sorry arh..suet's face was out of the camera lens lah...hehehe

hhaha..to make up for the picture that suet couldn't fit into..in the cable car

uh..no comments..LOL..LOOK AT THAT EAGLE FLY.......wwwwOOOAawwwhhh!!!

us at the eagle place...this photo is really cool coz the eagle seems to be soaring over our very heads..RESPECT!!

mr. yong joining the posers society by joining in!!taken at the cable car place

at the dinner table on the second day!!standing: weichuen, issac, steven; sitting: suwen, chuisan, yiping, dejun, denny!!..denny looks mischievous here, eh???nyahahahhahaha =P

meng and me posing at that lang lang place...dataran lang...the eagle there is huge!!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..u sooooo don wannnnaaa knowwwwwwwww

sunset at the beach on the first day...really really nice..mr. yong took this photo with my camera..he was kinda into our cameras throughout the whole trip and he managed to figure out some functions on the camera that i never knew about. he even taught me how to use them and make pictures look at its best. i guess he's a teacher at heart, eh??still teaching although not he isn't in college and is on holiday...RESPECT MAN!!!!!!

me and chui san playing in the sea..that girl tried to drown me!!! and i tried to drown her as well...=)..ooohh..and i splashed denny with loadsa sea water!!!and i pushed john deeper into the sea coz he was acting like a dead person just floating about and i was kinda freaked out at first coz i thought he really drowned or something. mr. yong convinced me though that he was very much alive..LOL!!

a dark shot of us at the makan place

suwen, michelle and suet ning at the beach on the first day..all with sunglasses alsthough not really noticable..check out that wave and the clouds man