this is a DAMN emo post

ok.

so ppl, i am now 19 years of age, you can shake my hand and call me old :P
thanks to everyone for all the wishes and calls, especially those in aussie who took the extra effort (and cost :P )

pics and so later on :P

----------------------------------------------

the one feeling that is the hardest of feel would be the feeling of missing someone.
the feeling of missing someone so far away, there is nothing you can do to make it go away.
nothing, except seeing the person in front of you once again.
to hold, to touch, to kiss.

they tell lies when they say hatred is the worst because it kills.
they tell lies when they say love is the best feeling you can ever feel.
because the worst feeling is to miss
and the best feeling is to see those you miss once again

the first touch of the skin
the first hold in your arms
the warm breath on your cheek
the soft hair on your chest
who could want more?
after months of missing
after months of wanting, needing, pleading

seeing you beside me
i could not ask for more
now that you're not
i feel a sense of emptiness
a sense of loneliness

i regret the times we argued, where we'd shout and scream
when instead i could have done what i want to most now
to just hold you and look you in the eye and say "I Love You"

for the times that i was down or upset or angered,
and you were there for me just talking me through,
i'd never give up those times to be happy without you
for i'd go through them ten times worse to be down or upset or angered,
just so i'm with you

i await the day you return to me
for i miss you so much and it's a feeling i hate
but to have the feeling of finally being with you in the end
is like the feeling of love being loved all over again
and for that i will wait

i miss you my dear little baby....

i've inserted a new countdown timer thingie so that i can keep track of time. so oh well.

and just in case anyone was wondering, yes, i have a boyfriend.
his name is pranava and i'm keeping him forever.

yes, i know he's not chinese, but i'm happy with him not being chinese, so there :P

you know, honestly, if you want to test a relationship all you need to do is go long distance.
that's when the relationship is at it's hardest, and if it works out pretty alright even then, you know that there's something for you in the relationship.

it's not easy coping with LDR.
there're loads of sacrificing involved.
no physically being there, no daily hugs no daily pets, whatever.
having to sacrifice time and money on calls from far away just to hear a comforting voice is basically the only thing that you get from a long distance relationship.
although it is easier these days with skype and webcams! imagine those days where all ppl could rely on were on letters and birds!!
being physically away from each other, you don't know what the other party is up to.
that's where trust is involved.
and i trust p completely :)

in a year, the amount of time i spend without him being next to me (let alone being in this country) outweighs the amount of time that he spends with me.
heck, i think we've been away from each other longer than we have been together.

think of it this way.
one year.
8 and a half months apart.
3 and a half months together. but only in the same state.
i can't just walk to his place and knock on his door whenever i want to see him like i used to back in aussie. GEEZ i don't even see him in uni!!
basically there's just a lot of waiting involved larhhh....

but yet i'm still holding on tightly to him because i know he's my treasure that cannot be found anywhere else.
he's not like other guys
he's special :P
and i love him for being special

not because he's my boyfriend, but because he is my BESTEST friend AND my boyfriend.

no one can take this moment away from me
this moment where i'm truly appreciating my little treasure

:P

p/s: ok ppl. this is one of those rare moments where i'm besides myself, but i really do feel not right so i thought perhaps blogging might help me feel better so that i can study (because i've done almost close to nothing!!!) and the post above is what i've managed to blurt out thus far. i'm sorry yea...

YAY!

i've found the reason behind my emo-ness and teenage angst these days..

lack of shopping.

i'm serious.

i went on a shoppin spree yesterday, and YES! i haven't felt this good in ages!!!

i didn't buy my stuff from miss selfridge though, because when i went to 1u to look at it again, the okay top that i wanted didn't seem quite so okay anymore. LOL!
however, the one that i really wanted wasn't there!
so darn it, i'll have to run back to pyramid one of these days, that's if i find more $$$

and my shopping spree??
half sponsored by yours truly, and the other by daddy-kins. -_-"

so i'm half broke.

and i'm not even close to being done!!!

argh..

it's hard being a girl ok!!

p/s: yes, you can now call me bimbo ho. (HO because it's my surname you donkeys!!)

ADDITIONS!!

and in case you don't bother looking, LOOK at my I WANT list!!LOLL

i've updated it with extra cancellations, and extra wants!!
i've even made it bold and green so that it's easier for alllll you ppl to look at..

and i WILLLL GET THEM!!
i'll save and save and save..THEN BUY!!!!
BWAHAHHAhaHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!

LATEST OBSESSION!!!!

ok. i can't seem to stop blogging, so here's the second post of the day.

I LOVE THE N95!!!!
I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!

*click*

i wanttt!!!