this is a DAMN emo post

ok.

so ppl, i am now 19 years of age, you can shake my hand and call me old :P
thanks to everyone for all the wishes and calls, especially those in aussie who took the extra effort (and cost :P )

pics and so later on :P

----------------------------------------------

the one feeling that is the hardest of feel would be the feeling of missing someone.
the feeling of missing someone so far away, there is nothing you can do to make it go away.
nothing, except seeing the person in front of you once again.
to hold, to touch, to kiss.

they tell lies when they say hatred is the worst because it kills.
they tell lies when they say love is the best feeling you can ever feel.
because the worst feeling is to miss
and the best feeling is to see those you miss once again

the first touch of the skin
the first hold in your arms
the warm breath on your cheek
the soft hair on your chest
who could want more?
after months of missing
after months of wanting, needing, pleading

seeing you beside me
i could not ask for more
now that you're not
i feel a sense of emptiness
a sense of loneliness

i regret the times we argued, where we'd shout and scream
when instead i could have done what i want to most now
to just hold you and look you in the eye and say "I Love You"

for the times that i was down or upset or angered,
and you were there for me just talking me through,
i'd never give up those times to be happy without you
for i'd go through them ten times worse to be down or upset or angered,
just so i'm with you

i await the day you return to me
for i miss you so much and it's a feeling i hate
but to have the feeling of finally being with you in the end
is like the feeling of love being loved all over again
and for that i will wait

i miss you my dear little baby....

i've inserted a new countdown timer thingie so that i can keep track of time. so oh well.

and just in case anyone was wondering, yes, i have a boyfriend.
his name is pranava and i'm keeping him forever.

yes, i know he's not chinese, but i'm happy with him not being chinese, so there :P

you know, honestly, if you want to test a relationship all you need to do is go long distance.
that's when the relationship is at it's hardest, and if it works out pretty alright even then, you know that there's something for you in the relationship.

it's not easy coping with LDR.
there're loads of sacrificing involved.
no physically being there, no daily hugs no daily pets, whatever.
having to sacrifice time and money on calls from far away just to hear a comforting voice is basically the only thing that you get from a long distance relationship.
although it is easier these days with skype and webcams! imagine those days where all ppl could rely on were on letters and birds!!
being physically away from each other, you don't know what the other party is up to.
that's where trust is involved.
and i trust p completely :)

in a year, the amount of time i spend without him being next to me (let alone being in this country) outweighs the amount of time that he spends with me.
heck, i think we've been away from each other longer than we have been together.

think of it this way.
one year.
8 and a half months apart.
3 and a half months together. but only in the same state.
i can't just walk to his place and knock on his door whenever i want to see him like i used to back in aussie. GEEZ i don't even see him in uni!!
basically there's just a lot of waiting involved larhhh....

but yet i'm still holding on tightly to him because i know he's my treasure that cannot be found anywhere else.
he's not like other guys
he's special :P
and i love him for being special

not because he's my boyfriend, but because he is my BESTEST friend AND my boyfriend.

no one can take this moment away from me
this moment where i'm truly appreciating my little treasure

:P

p/s: ok ppl. this is one of those rare moments where i'm besides myself, but i really do feel not right so i thought perhaps blogging might help me feel better so that i can study (because i've done almost close to nothing!!!) and the post above is what i've managed to blurt out thus far. i'm sorry yea...

of movies and songs

i think it's damn lebih how movies these days all begin with the word THE followed by a noun.

example:

the notebook
the lakehouse
the illusionist
the jacket
the secret window
the guardian
the good shepard
the fountain
the reaping
the guardian
the eye

and whatever lahhh

and you know sometimes, you try and tell what sort of movie it is just by interpreting it's title?

for example like...

the exorcist (see??? another "the-noun")

it says exorcist.
so you know it involves spirits and things and sorts like that..so you know it's a horror movie.

titanic.
it's a name of a ship, so you know it's about a ship. what goes on in that ship, who falls in love with who, who sleeps with who is all vague. but whatever. it's about a ship. so, it might be a thriller (maybe the ship turned out to be some military ship in disguise??) it might involve romance (which is what it's all about obviously). horror?hard to say..but chances are super duper low..

lord of the rings.
you know it involves lords. it involves rings. so i'd say prolly thriller. possibly horror as well, you know like some devil possessing the ring and taking over ppl and things like that.

but it irks me like hell when the title doesn't explain the theme of the movie!!! especially when they're really old movies or unheard of movies that you haven't seen a trailer or poster of it, that you just CAN'T tell what kind of movie it is!! and ppl like me who are damn bloody afraid of horror movies can't do anything about it!!!

for example..

'the notebook'.
what?
it's about a notebook.
ok.
so...what sort of notebook is it??
it's a possessed notebook?
or it's a possessing kinda notebook?
when i was in aussie and roaming the file sharing thinga majigie, i found this movie.
ok lah..so pardon the hulu person that i am, but i had never heard of it until i found it last year.
so i didn't bother watching it, because..i thought it was some horror movie. the title is just so vague, that it could be about ANYTHING!! ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!! thriller lah horror lah romance lahhhh..but i figured mostly horror.

which was why i didn't download it at all, until i asked my friend about it, and she told me that it was a damn touching movie and that i SHOULD watch it. also to add, that there's nothing to be afraid of.
-_-"

no kidding.
same goes with 'the jacket' and 'the lakehouse'

i mean, WHAT THE HELL RIGHT?!?!?

i thought the lakehouse was a movie about a family shifting in and finding dead ppl around or some shit like that.
who the hell knew it turned out to be a romance movie.
-_-"

and see??
the secret window.
you'd think it's some fantasy movie, with little children finding a secret window to their dreams (kinda like the story the secret garden) but nooooooooooo
it's about johnny depp and some horror shit. ( i wouldn't know. i didn't watch it. i DON'T watch horror movies)

the point is,
it doesn't SAY SO ANYWHERE THAT it's a horror movie in the title!!!!
what am i supposed to do?
and i already have this perception that all titles with the "the-noun' title format would be scary, that even when i scroll through the movie, it turns out looking scary.
see?
first impressions do count!

something like, amityville horror, dark water, ghostship, thirteen ghosts, SEEE??!!?!??! they alllll have some sort of clue that they are horror movies!!

but which part of "the eye" does it say that's it's horror?
and c'mon.
if the eye can be possessed...WHY NOT THE JACKET AND THE LAKEHOUSE AND THE NOTEBOOK AND THE GUARDIAN?? we have "the RING" what.
and the ring turned out to be a horror movie.
so how??

you watch the ring from the beginning thinking that it's about some sweet guy who works hard day and night just so he can buy a ring to pursue the one he loves who is very much in the arms of someone else, someone better and wealthier. then when you click play on the laptop/pc, suddenly you see this show about ppl watching tvs and so on so forth.
-_-"
it's fine if you've seen trailers and you know about it, but if you haven't!??!???!
DIE!

kesian ppl like me who get shitted out of their wits whilst watching horror flicks.
nvr have been one for scary movies.....

eekk..

---------------------------------

speaking about movies, TRANSFORMERS WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
the way they transformed...pwoar!!!
and pretty funny toooo!!

although...
i never could see why the hero and the love interest MUSTTT always find time to tell each other how they feel and how they appreciate one another at crucial moments!!

like, fire flying left right centre, could be killed at any bloody moment, damn kan cheong, damn exhillirating!!!!
then whole scene slows down and focuses on the guy and girl expressing their deeply burried emotions.
-_-"

the worst is when a guy is rushing out from a building where he's just planted a bomb.
so you see him running damn fast, then he tries and saves the girl and then while untying her rope-tied hands, they have time to kiss and meraba-raba.
WTH?!?!??!!

first i thought right. it's all good rushing, but you're wasting time doing the unnecessary??? ok lah, so fine, to some ppl it might be, but still!!

so sometimes the movies are damn kuah cheong(over/lebih) loh

and no worries.
none of the above are spoilers :P

just to note..

p: i've got something really important to tell you. but you must promise me you wouldn't get angry..ok?
sw: yeah..ok..
p: you sure or not..i've been meaning to tell you from last time..but now only i've decided i should tell you.
sw: ok. tell lah.
p: ............
...........
............
su wen...
my car....is actually a TRANSFORMER.
sw: -_-"
really arrrr?????? i'm actually a transformer osoo!!!!
p: hah?? really???? can you transform to be taller and thinner then????
sw: .....
p: and stay transformed??
sw: LMAO!!!
------------------------------------

ppl, you ALL should check this song out.

Plain White T's - Hey there, Delilah

it's like, my all time favourite song now.
it's deep, simple and nice.

especially when ppl like me can relate.
if you're in a long distance relationship or whatsoever, i recommend you download this song. it's like the song of your dreams.
the first time i heard it i cried.
and even when i listened somemore, i cried.
but no lah..lately i've been really emotional. i cried during transformers ok. so it's more of the hormones thing, so oh well.
AND LISTEN TO THE LYRICS!!
LISTEH TO THE LYRICS!!
THE LYRICS!!
THE LYRICS!!!!

and just in case you ppl don't like listening....

here are the lyrics

"Hey There Delilah"

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

*********

the parts highlighted in yellow and green are my favourite parts. especially the yellow part.
totally watered my eyes out then..
geeeee

UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(:(:(

it totally sucks to be a guy. why?

LMAO.
ok, this is not a sexist post aight, ppl?
instead, it's a post to respect the male gender for all the sacrifices that they've made or are expected to make thus far.

so wait lah. be patient, and continue reading.

it totally sucks to be a guy, because in every sense and every way, guys are surrounded by boundaries, where if they step over em', they're either pointed and laughed at and called gay, or just thought of as not man enough.

i give you a few examples ok?
but NOTE. i'm not trying to condemn ur species or put you down. it's just that i think i would never survive as a guy, having known and experienced that joys that i can have as a girl. obviously, you may think otherwise, but hey, i'm just stating my opinion, eh??? hehehe..so this is not in anyway, meant to offend or insult anyone. just remember that k??

a) FASHION-WISE
a normal guy (or expected to be normal), wears normal big baggy t-shirts or shirts and big baggy pants.
the t-shirts must be either collared, or round-neck.
if they have a damn hot body, then wearing a slightly tighter t-shirt is acceptable.
anything out of the ordinary, is considered gay.

fashionwise, guys who don't obey by the unwritten rule are considered faggots (other more polite ppl call them metrosexual).

to define the term faggot/metrosexual, ppl would say that they are guys who dare express themselves, and would not mind going out in any way to make themselves look good, by SHOWING that they care, instead of pretending that they don't.

for example, i'd say a metrosexual man would be someone who uses facial products, who uses branded clothing and who go out of their way in expressing themselves, with big prints or sorts on their t-shirts or with a weirder colour scheme, and are not afraid in following the latest fashion(which would include things like carrying big bags around on their shoulder).

a metrosexual man when asked, do you use anything on your face?
he would answer, why yes. i use SK II skin whitening range along with L'oreal's ............ so on so on (ok la, i admit. i don't know any of this facial products thingie, coz i myself don't use them, which explains the state of my face... -_-")

on the other hand, a guy who considers himself normal by the society's norm, would/might be using facial products, may/may not wear branded clothing which are either plain or with un-obvious prints or patterns, whom will never be seen caught with a big bag on his shoulders, and would only dare wear light pink t-shirts.

a "normal" man when asked, do you use anything on your face?
he would answer, no/sort-of. and he'll prolly change the topic, or say that he is using something temporarily or that it was something he found lying around the house, or his mom's or bla bla bla bla...

but u get what i mean.

v-necklines, not accepted by majority of the guys.
sleeveless, some say are gay, some say okay.
jeans, cannot be tight, must be hanging loosely to the waist.
ladidadida..
it's like, the total opposite of a fashion statement in the male world.

in the female world, women try to make fashion statements. wear the brightest colour, wear the biggest earrings, wear the shiniest necklace, etc etc
there're so many things to choose from, so many styles..girls try to stand out in crowds and look nice...seee????
it's pretty hard to be called boyish (fashion wise) if you're a girl, unless all you wear is a big t-shirt and big pants.

whereas in the male world, all everyone does it to lie low and play safe. they try NOT to make a fashion statement. they blend with majority.

TRUE?

don wear bright pink shirts!! after ppl stare and say i'm gay
don carry big bag!! after ppl stare and say i'm gay
don wear V-line!! after ppl stare and say i'm gay
-_-"

so boring rite?? when guys go shopping, there's not much to choose from. i mean, your style has pretty much been determined, and your colour range is limited along with the type of prints. so one tshirt doesn't differ much to another in a guy's wardrobe. as long as the criteria baggy and un-gay are fulfiled, TICK!! SAFE!!

doesn't it show you why most guys DON'T enjoy shopping? and why metrosexual ppl do??? and why females enjoy it too...

so unless you're metrosexual (which means that you're daring enough to venture away from the norm of the male species), it totally sucks to be a guy because you're bounded by the unwritten rule of what you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T wear, and can never enjoy the wondrous emotions of shopping.

p/s: ok, this is getting too long. i'm gonna break this post down into a few posts, i'll continue another day :P lazy rediiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii -_-"

ho-hum..

i love it when my wardrobe is full on days justtt after laundry.
i like looking at it and just standing back and think,

"omg, what a waste of money!!! but not enough clothes!! i need more colour, COLOUR!!!"

heh :p

i think daughters generally spend more money than sons do. no?
but i still think daughters are a better deal further down the road. no?
actually, daughters are better kids, students, role models...EVERYTHING. no?

ok fine.
not daughters as much.
THE FEMALE POPULATION!!!

we think better, we rationalize better.
we're better at everything, except..say.. financial wise.
:P

when girls know they've got it (it being cash or looks or body or wtv), they splurge.
even when there IS no IT, they splurge.
LOL!
that's why ppl like me pokai all the time.
sigh.

but after every shopping spree, girls feel the happiest, happier even than when a guy buys a psp or a ps3 or wtv.

so you see?
girls make happier ppl.
which proves that girls are better ppl.
again, except sayy....financial wise. :P

and don go %$^&*(&^ why so blardy sexist???!!!

truth is, guys can't survive without em' girls, coz why?
we're the better sex.
HAH!

no need to argue with me lahh..even the higher powers agree with me.
simple.
XY chromosome, you're a guy
XX chromosome, you're a girl.

and most sex linked diseases are what???
say again??? ah yesss...
most sex linked diseases are gender related, targetting for the mortality and morbidity of the male gender. NOT the female gender.
because you have one sex gene, they get overexpressed in the males, leading to the disease..hohhoho
girls can have one defective X gene, but because we have an extra X gene, we can chilling only lahhh..in other words. hohohoho

so see??

male. female.

which one do you want to be?
and don't give me crap and say males are the one working in the family, supporting the female.
BULLSHIT!
THAT is sexist lah.
grow up and listen to the news, muh man.
girls WORK these days, and we support ourselves.
so hah!
again,

which one do you want to be?? :P:P:P
heh
-------------------------------------

oh god i finished my part for the SPC.
thank god.
now all we have to do is compile, cut down on word limit!!!!, and reference properly, and that would be the REAL beginning of my holidays.
^^

i cannot wait any longer.

channel E! rox my sox

haha
it's so weird that i'm choosing to blog instead of sleeping.
i laid on the bed with the lights off and an aching body, but the mind still seemed very much awake, hence this.
sigh.
i think it's my screwed up sleeping time.

today i was damn housewife-y.

in the morning i cleaned my room, vacuumed it, and mopped the whole house.
in the evening i taught justin math. i knew i was never the teacher type, further proven by justin ending up in tears.
after dinner, i did the dishes (ok..so i do it everyday, but i'm trying to prove a point, aight??!?!?!!!)
at night, i hand-washed and machined-was my load of clothing.

SAW OR NOTT!!
the only thing i was lacking was the cooking part, and i couldn't do that coz justin needed my service in passing on knowledge.
so wateva larh..

anyhow, i watched channel E! whilst doing the laundry (YES, i wash my clothes in front of the tv in a bucket) and i saw a THS (true hollywood stories) edtion on racheal ray.

for those who don't know (don't worry, i didn't either), she's like..this big time cooking chef person, kinda like the modern day martha steward. and she went on to have her own talk show and stuff, and basically she's damn successful lahhh

whilst watching the show, i couldn't help but feel that me and racheal ray have a lot in common, character-wise.

she's damn bising, perky and smiley all the time.

tell me, am i or am i not like that???

RIGHT RIGHT?!??!
so you tell me, am i wrong or not for thinking so?!?!?

and the show went on to talking about the millions of fans that she has and how she's become this great idol and icon for ppl worldwide, that even ppl like oprah were amazed by the likes of her.

and then obviously you have the nothing-better-to-do-egoistical-bitches-who-cannot-stand-to-see-other-ppl-being-happy-whilst-they-complain-on-their-asses-24/7 who try and ruin it for you.

yep.
no kidding.
a freak set up a website dedicated to hating racheal ray.
it's called racheal ray sucks or something like that.
geez..try thinking of a better name, will ya???!?!
and the worst thing is she acted all mighty and superior when E! interviewed her about the hate-website.
she seemed so proud of her done "job".
gawd.
it's like she has no life of her own, and just randomly picks on successful ppl to hate and to trash.
and her site gets 6000 hits per day!, and obviouly she gets money from advertising and being popular amongst the community, so tell me, who's being a parasite?!?!
you insult ppl, but you suck money of their fame and popularity.
PTUI!
sampah masyarakat.

and when asked,
WHY DO YOU HATE RACHEAL RAY?
"oh, i hate her whole perky factor and how she's always cheerful and what-not. it's obviously fake."

oh gawd period
ok, so she didn't say EXACTLY THAT, but it went along the lines of.
who the hell are ppl to judge if someone is PRETENDING to be happy and cheerful or not??
just because someone is happy all the time doesn't mean they're PRETENDING to be happy???!?!?!!
and bloody hell, even IF she's pretending to be happy, THAT'S HER JOB RITE?!!!
you can't possibly host a show or wtv being a total sad-case-pathetic-loser.
geez
jealouse, just say jealous.
sudah.

racheal ray was all, "it's ok if someone were to hate me, coz i can't please everybody, and if i were to try and do so, it'd be stupid."

respect.

you know, i can so totally relate to that.

lets reflect upon me. hehe (yes, you can stop reading now if you want to. it's gonna get long)
:P

i'm noisy.
i'm perky.
i'm cheerful.
i'm loud.

some ppl would say that's annoying, others would say it's comforting and happy-fying.

but you know, i'm ok with both, coz you can only love a person or totally hate them, and you only totally hate someone out of jealousy (if they've done NOTHING bad to you) or because you're a person who only knows hate.

but know one thing, i am sooooo not being pretentious.
i AM happy and i AM loud.

get my drift?

have always been, will always be.
furthermore,
i support myself when i say i'm not someone who's easily like-able.
most ppl would be annoyed at the first sight of me, because i'm always bouncing around and being noisy.
attention seeking some say.
but trust me when i say this, it is NOT attention that i seek.
ALL my life, i have been noisy and like that larh..and it just so happens that attention is passed my way for i AM like that.
i'm NOT like that because i want attention.
attention wants me because i AM like that.
see the difference??

but honestly, i don't mind the attention. :P:P:P
it's a lot easier to say things sometimes when you know ppl are listening, so attention nvr hurt anyone. haha!!

trust me, i have tried toning down a lot on the voice factor, and i HAVE.
i'm a lot softer than i used to be, but loud nevertheless.

ppl have always refered to me as the loud and noisy one.
and it's something i take pride in.

p constantly reminds me that it's not something that i should be proud of, but then again, why not?

better be known for being loud and noisy, than being the idiotic one.
better be known for being loud and noisy, than being the silent one.
better be known for being loud and noisy, outspoken and happy, than being someone who's not known at all.
better be known and hated, than be not known at all.

think about it.

ppl also usually link me and happiness together for i seem to project an aura of joy and carefree-ness almost all the time, that even when i'm silent for a moment, ppl think there's something wrong with me.

but that's not the point.

what i'm trying to say is, that no matter how perfect you are one way or the other, someone out there is bound to want you down, whether you like it or not.

not everyone is liked by everyone.
there WILL be haters and evil ppl around, but so what??
WHY let them get to you when you're perfectly comfortable with the way you are and are unperturbed by them??

once when i was down and had this whole, self-conflicting issue, a very trustable friend of mine whose opinion EVERYONE valued said something that made me sit up.

"why are you so disturbed? they're just jealous of you. take pride in that."

and it made me think twice.
so what if they ARE or AREN'T jealous?
to hell with them and let them be lah!!

also, think about it.
ppl usually want you out of their way only when they think you're competition to them.
like in survivor.
you get the best ones out, keep the good ones coz you need them to survive, and the soft ones coz they'll be easier to defeat.

see my point?

it shows you how INTIMIDATED they are by you, and it's not something you can help.

simply...
the losers are the ones who are intimidated and take action AGAINST you.
the winners are the ones who change themselves, or take action within them selves to parallel you.

sure, it seems like an arrogant way, but it's ways like these that shows you who your friends really are.

take for example, the popular cheerleader (BBB) and the unpopular best friend (AAA)

if AAA were a good friend, she'd support BBB (provided BBB is also a nice person and not a totally biatch larh), and vice versa. AAA would be proud for BBB and ladidadida

but if AAA were just some lame ass intimidated freak, she'd back out on BBB and turn her face against her, JUST BECAUSE BBB is more popular than AAA.

see??
simple.

ok..i'm totally deviating from the real point.totally fail if this was an english essay.

THE POINT IS, some ppl just have got NO LIVES to lead, and so they find one by sucking lives away from others.
this girl who started the rachael ray sucks website should perish in hell.
if you wanna hate, hate silently, no need to publicize big time.
ok.

p/s: YES, i wrote this whole post because i felt that i was racheal ray and that this girl who started the website had something against ME as well. LOL!!!!

ok fine, i'm just being too perasan in the first place, because i said that i was racheal ray.
sigh
oh well

the mind is now tired and can rest.

nitez ya'll

hohohhoo

just wondering

what's "make out" called in malay language?

-----------------------

*mom to bro*

"eh we're goin out now, you want anything to eat or not?? no need lah hah you so fat already"

HAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

ask but answer sendiri

it's cool, coz they used to say that i was fat after i returned from aussie, now HE'S the fat one!
YAY! that means:

1) i lost weight

OR

2) he's put on more weight and i am still as fat as when i returned from aussie, but he's fatter

-_-"

i tell you kids these days...

my dad's fren came over with his 12 year old son..
whom whilst playing on the pc with my 7 year old brother
was SMS-ing on his K750i....

-_-"

he's TWELVE and he has his own phone which is MORE CANGGIH THAN mine (and prolly half or quarter of the teens around)?!?!?!??!?!!!

ok lah,
at LEAST he's 12..

i know of another kid, who is TEN and HAS A K750i!
it's different because he GOT IT the MOMENT it came out, whilst it was still the latest sony ericsson phone around..

my gawd.

when i was 12, the only things that i had to MY NAME, were furnitures...that belonged to barbie dolls
i had a bathroom set, a dining set and random things;
i had random transformers (i had to have EVERYTHING the big bro had..LOL!! i was a kid then ok!) ;
i had tamiya cars which i didn't know how to operate except to switch them on and off..i left the whole car modification things to my brother ;
i had BOOKS AND BOOKS AND BOOKS AND BOOKS; ENID blyton all the way with peter and jane.

heck, my mom gave them away when we shifted house, and got them back from her friends again when she became pregnant and gave birth to justin -_-". it's quite cool actually, looking back at the books that i used to read so much..
what else did i have?
soft toys and things like that..

kids these days ah..

handphone lah;
play station lah ;
digimon lah (ok, so i had 3 tamagochis, don't even know where they are. justin took them and lost them.. -_-") ;
nintendo lah ;
computer games lah ;
all the cool cool toys out there ;
ipod lah

even the kid-girls are DIFFERENT.

now they talk about fashion.
about boys and things like that ..
about goin shopping and about celebrities!! ..

when i was a kid, i couldn't stand the THOUGHT OF BOYS!!

always so sloppy and dirty,
and they're not noisy, coz i'm noiser than them!

and i knew NUTS about fashion.
everything mommy says, su wen wears .
and i was mommy's girl til....justin came on board.

so until i was TWELVE, i listened to whatever my mom said.
which is ok lah, except the fashion part.....

i'm a GIRL, so she dressed me GIRLY .
she wanted to raise me into this....sweet feminine girl
so...

until i was 12,
i wore dresses .
-_-"
LACY dresses.
not just to functions and things like that..but ALL the time.
supermarket lah
here lah
there lah
so much so, that i NEVER wore jeans, and i hated jeans coz they made me feel uncomfortable.

i remember, i went to a friend's birthday party, everyone wore damn chilling clothes, like jeans and shorts and skirts.
me?
i was in an orange frilly dress with laces at the sleeves and a ribbon to tie at the back......
-_-"

i felt so outtttt of place ok.
but i figured, mothers know best ..

so when justin came along, and i had more freedom in deciding what i wanted to wear..
i went the opposite way.
i became a "boy" (ok..not boy boy, but tomboyish...).
i wore jeans and pants and baggy shirts .
i NEVER wore a dress or a skirt ALL THROUGH SECONDARY SCHOOL.
i couldn't stand the idea of wearing dangly earrings, i couldn't stand the idea of wearing heels.
it also didn't help that i had short hair then, and my mom was against me growing it long (because i'm messy apparently).
so i had short hair ALL THROUGH high school, until mid of form 5, when i grew my hair longer.

AND THEN..came college

at first, i couldn't be bothered about what i wore to coll or what i looked like.
i wore my glasses to uni, i wore baggy clothes and things as such.
until one weekend, i went shopping with my aunt and uncle(who was down from the uk), and i decided to buy a box of monthly-disposable contact lenses..
so i started wearing contacts to coll, but i was still in pants.

until ONEEE DAYY,
the qi miao miaos (awwwwww..i kinda miss that) dared me to wear a skirt to coll (don't ask me why, but i used to buy skirts but NEVER wore them) and so i did.

and from thereon, i decided..wth. how come i stopped wearing skirts???

and so i began wearing skirts.
and i let my hair grow.
and i wore my contacts everytime i left the house.

and it's been that way til now.
i CANNOT imagine keeping my hair short again, and sometimes, i can't imagine wearing my glasses to important occasions..

it's true that i changed a lot in a span of one year, since leaving school.
and i think i've changed even more when i left to aussie.
i've changed in terms of physicality, as i do care for appearances and to at least look presentable.
but to put in the extra super effort???
aiyohh..that one..cannot change lahhhh

maybe once in awhile only lah...
i cannot imagine having to waste my sleeping time, getting up earlier just so i can put on make up..or put on earrings..or deciding and matching everything perfectly and what not JUSTTTTT to go to uni -_-"
i'd rather sleep....

hahahah
oh weellll

i'm still pretty much the same, although my sense of fashion has changed tremendously.
haha

once a boy, always a boy..

and btw... won't you agree??
i'm still pretty much tomboy-ish what

heh :P

white models?asian models?

-----------------------------------------------------------

you know how ppl always say the whites are more good looking than the asians??

well, yeah, i used to be one of those ppl.

but the term more good looking needs to be revised.

hell, some asians are damn bloody good looking, and some whites are bloody damn good looking as well, so how do you tell who looks better?

think about it..
the one thing that whites have that most asians don't, are features.

and when i say features, i mean features that STAND out.

something where, a mile away, you notice that something about someone, and you can't help but be attracted to it.

and lets try and list key features that each race is known for.
first up, the whites
1) nice bright coloured eyes
2) nice sharp nose
3) super really pearly whites (even those whom smoke!!!)
4) a nicer hair texture
5) height (generally taller than asians)
6) in some cases, fair (depending how fair)

then, the asians
1) brown/dark-brown eyes, bigger and large for indians and slits for chinese (majority!!!)
2) indians have nice high noses, chinese usually have flat ones
3) colour of skin (not too dark, not too fair). i think the asians beat this flat any time!!
4) uhm..... being lala?? (i'm kidding!!)

so you see, being good looking has NOTHING to do with STAND-OUT features, if you get my drift.
you can be good looking with no STAND-OUT features, and you can have a STAND-OUT feature and not be good looking

in the modeling industry, i assume that not ALL models are pretty.
sure, most of them are ATTRACTIVE, but when you get down to it, prolly someone across the street looks better than them.

so why do photographers prefer models the way they are??
because they have FEATURES
FEATURES
the one thing that attracts ppl to them
you put a pretty sweet girl next to a model who's ready for a show, tell me who will you look at first.
obviously the model.
why?
HEIGHT
and all the makeup that help essentuate FEATURES

see??
what do models have?
sultry lips
big cold stary eyes
nice sharp nose
nice jawline
and so on so on

and the thing is, models ARE objects of envy, because it's not easy being born with GREAT features.
sure, every bloody person can be pretty good-looking or okay looking
but to find someone with OUTSTANDING features??
you cari cari, sampai mati oso maybe not yet cari finish.

and you know, sometimes, features can be portrayed off as attitude.
models walk on catwalks with confidence and grace and air
THAT alone is a great feature to look at and learn from.

you see someone walking on the street with THAT vibe, tell me if you'll look or not. i think it's a turn on.
not that i'm turned on. :P

and if you think about it, the few things that ALL models have in common (regardless of race), are HEIGHT, BODY, and the ATTITUDE (meaning the confidence that they project whilst photo-shooting or runway-ing)

so how do you decide which model of which race is the prettier one?

you can't.

why?

because having more features doesn't mean you're more good looking and vice versa.

the only advantage that whites have over asian models are features, and that's about it.
other than that, i would assume they're all the same.

and no, you can't say that white models SHOULD be prefered over asian ones, just BECAUSEE they have features!!
hell, you don't give the smart alec on the street a job JUST BECAUSE he's smart and he's got papers to prove it!!!

it's just that ppl TEND to use white models because they have the features, the same way ppl tend to hire ppl for their intellectuality.

so cacat

i think the world needs more asian models.

HAH!
ok lah
i sound like i'm some bloody model genius..but i'm not
HELL i'm not even a model
but, thta's just the way i'm looking at things..
ppl are just so superficial at times.
sigh
anyhow, i'm DONE WITH HOUSE!!!!!
finished season 3, waiting for new episodes!!!
DARN IT
ok lah
i'm not gonna blab anymore, someone eating nutella while talking to me, don wan him to wait!
ok byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

when it goes astray

feeling naughty.... heh :P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

from long white lines dictating my every move

to long disconnected lines

to dots

and then to nothing

where do i go from here?

PIRATES 3!!!

p/s: (yes, it's weird to start of with p/s. anyhow.. if you can see, i've actually added nuffnang to my blog!!! to those who don't know what it is, it's kinda like.. earning money while blogging. nuff said. and i'm on the low side in cash, and i need to fund my shopping, so yay!! hopefully i'll earn enough from it in time to come :P)
-----------------------------------------

you know, i've probably mentioned this before, but i thought about it, and i figured i SHOULD mention it again, coz whenever i think about it, i end up laughing like hell...


when someone says something smells (can be bad or good, but most cases they turn out to be bad), instead of holding in their breaths, most ppl tend to inhale more air, just so they know what smell the other person is talking about. not JUST inhale, but inhale inhale inhale inhale.
CORRECT OR NOT????

a: EH, something stinks lah??can u smell it?? *sniff sniff*
b: ha? really ah? wait ah.. *sniff sniff sniffff snifffffff* got meh?? no what?? *sniff snifff*
c: *snifff snuff snuff* haha..makes no difference to me. my nose is blocked!!
b: *sniffff snufff snuff* EH WAIT! yalah!! there's that smell!! why so smelly wan???
a: YALAH!! i told you!!

THEN only ppl start to hold their breath.

-_-"

i mean, it's normal human reaction to be curious and ask and ponder, but it's weird when you only believe it when you experience it yourself.

it's the same with smoking and drugs and what-not.

ppl say it's nice, so you try to see if it's nice.
ppl say it's bad, you still try to see if it's that bad.

sometimes, once is ok, being no harm
sometimes, that once is bad, causing harm in every possible way.
so think ppl think!!
it's not all bout the smell, it's about the thoughts LEADING to the smell!!

and does anyone know what yahoo answers is?
i kinda forgot about it..but talking about smells, i kinda remembered a question i asked the last time

"why does it always rain when i sing?"
(OF COURSE IT DOESN'T RAIN WHEN I SING LAH!! it's just a...for-fun-rethorical question!)

here are some answers i got, they're NOT exact, but it goes about there

- "because you voice touched the clouds and they want you to feel their love" -
- " because you sang so beautifully, you made heaven cry" -
- "why are you asking? why WOULDN'T it rain when you sing? i wish it rain when i sang! shows i've got the powers!!" -

..the rest says it's just a coincidence or that i'm singing in the bathroom.....
-_-"

makes sense though.

but i like the one about making heaven cry..
sweeet

---------------------------------

back to the topic, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3 was great.
i'm not gonna spoil it for any of you ppl, but just go watch it. i laughed and cried along with the movie..
and STAYYY after the movie. there's a small clip at the end. you wouldn't wanna miss it..

and i wanna be keira knightley!!!
then i can sway in the arms of my pirate..

actually, a pirate seems more appealing now, as compared to your old classic knight in shining armor.
BAH!

keep up with times!!
it's a PIRATE you want!!!
aye ayeeee!!!

---------------------------

MITCH ALBOM HAS A NEW BOOK!!!!

omg, i love his books and his thoughts on things and the way he phrases 'em words!!!

i'd love to write you a long long comment on it, but wait until i get my hands on it, eh?

although..i CAN talk to you about anatomy. NOT much, just what i've learnt for the mid-sem exam previously, which is close to nothing, but hey..we should pride ourselves on all knowledge that we know..although they're nuts.

the TRUE man

*edit: my god my god, i just updated my links and REARRANGED everybody's name so that it's in alphabetical order, and rewrote names coz before this, i put them in an alternate caps kinda way. like AbCdEfG. now it's plain abcdefg. nicer. HAH!
BABI I'M WASTINg MY tIme LAH!!
it took me soooo long.
and i only managed to update links that i CAN remember and i added in surnames that i CAN remember..i forgot some already.
i'm soo soo sorry for my failing memory..
and it doesn't help that tiba tiba my right click option couldn't work on blogger and i had to type it out!!!!
shiat.
what the hell am i doing with my time!!!!!!!! *

ok, it's damn weird because at the beginning, i was just reading chris' blog about truly being a man by being decisive and i left him a super long comment.

and at the end of the comment, i decided to just post it as a post on my blog instead.

you can read chris' post *here*. my comment is still there though. hahaaha

factors preventing the boys from being decisive
- BEING A CROWD PLEASER
- FEAR OF REJECTION
- FEAR OF BEING WRONG
- WANTING TO KEEP OPTIONS OPEN.

i believe, a TRUE man, is a man who can carry out all foresaid characters in an average way.

who tends to please the crowd but yet remembers his own stand - half a crowd pleaser

who has fear of rejection, but is brave enough to admit and be open to it, but yet modest about his wins and accepting of his loss - half a coward of fear

who has the fear of being wrong, but the confidence of being right - half the fear of being wrong

to keep options open....well....we're still young...so..

a true man SHOULD appreciate what he has and keep it with tender loving care.
a true man SHOULD know when to keep his options open and when to shut it close for life.

a true MAN knows this and admits to it.

honestly, we girls are also pretty indecisive about things like this as well, so who am i to say what a true man is or is not?

but it IS true when we say that a man has to be smart, articulate, caring, good husband material, sensitive, charming bla bla bal..but he has to have a hold of himself.
to not give in to every want, and to learn to stand up sometimes.
a standing view point is very impressive at times..

(ok larh..so this is wat i think....someone from the opposite sex:P)

YES, it IS damn hard being a guy.

THANK god i'm not one.

HHAHAHAHAHHAA

but then again, this world isn't perfect..

so most probably the PERFECT guy doesn't exist.

either that, or he's happily married, dead, or unborn.

sigh...

about roti canais and crying

i've been eating roti canai quite a lot ever since uni started.
as per quote " me and roti canai have a special bond going lahh"

haha
and it all started after the hypertension/atherosclerosis lecture, where a beautifooolll picture of a roti canai served on a plate was enough to tempt me to start this crave...
forget that i'm a medical student and i'm supposed to be cautious of my health (since we get pathology and physiology lectures a lot)..blahh

i honestly coldn't be bothered to blog lah these days..

classes are from 8 - 5 pm..and today's instance is the worst.

8-1 pm STRAIGHT (that's like 5 hours in a row)
one hour break
then three hours straight

OMG!!!!!!
%$^&^%*((&^%

thank god the lecturer shortened it for us by combining two lectures, hence a 2 hour break instead of the initial one.

ALL U DONKEYS OUT THERE who keepppppp comparing your course to the medical course and saying how relaxed we are..GET THE HELLUVA LIFE LA..and if you think YOUR schedule is hectic, OBVIOUSLY you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
BAHHH
some ppl only know how to bising and complain complain complain..
shaddupp lah
tsk tsk
*bengang*

on another note, i think monash uni malaysia mbbs is starting to take off..
which is good.
i'm actually attending classes these days (YAY!)
and i'm actually listening in them!! (most of them anyway :P)

and yes, if i haven't told you already, i love their GLASS WHITEBOARDS!!!
so shinnyy
and i love their chairs!! so commfyyy

the anatomy lab is like our hangout spot.
:D

but the old campus is cooler, in the sense of population, activites and environment.
sigh
just sitting in the cafeteria for an hour or so was enough to give us hype to laugh over (not in a good way, mind you)...
so many tokyo drift ppl walking about, and ppl in thick thick coats.
i look at them i oso sweat lah i tell you..

no alarmingly cute guys though..

sadly for me, the cutest one is away in aussie (HAHA don't kembang!) and i still cAn't spot anyone with bigger eyes and longer lashes..

and then to the topic of crying..

what do you do when u're upset?

i, for one, admit that i'm upset in the first place.
and then i leave myself in that state. the whole shebang...crying my eyes out, eating dysfunction, sleeping dysfunction..
but then, i move on.
i don't stay that way for long, i don't want to stay that way for long.
so the max...prolly 2 - 3 days or so..(and when i say upset, i mean really really really freaking bloody upset)
after that, you GOTTA pick yourself up!!

my logic behind it?
you can't keep crying along the way, saying you never really embraced your sadness and that you were never given a chance to, because all you did was to avoid reality by distracting yourself for you wanted to be happy, and who can blame you for wanting to be happy?

at least by first basking in the sadness of life, you can get on, knowing that no matter what, you HAVE already leaked your eyes at least once, and so you're not obliged to do so again..not so much anyway..
and then if you do happen to feel sad again somewhere along the way, so be it.
cry, then get up.
sob, then smile.


repeat the cycle as long as in takes.
never be embarassed to feel what you really feel.
but this doesn't mean you go and cry in public and throw drama lah..
just chill, and cry when you're most comfortable..

and whoever says that crying is no use..SHADDUP LAH

crying IS of use..

you feel better after crying..
and WOULD be proven scientifically..

and again, as per quote
"crying is unisexual"
"if a grown man cries, you know he's got it really bad. cut him some slack.

what's the deal with life?

i think it's a natural thing for ppl to think greatly of themselves.
ok fine.
maybe not greatly, but a lil highly of themselves.

most ppl would think highly of themselves, whether you like it or not, in more ways than one.

maybe in terms of being attractive physically. she'd/he'd think that they don't fair too badly in the world of looks. sure, they may not allllll be that good looking, but good enough to score with the hunks/chicks.

maybe in terms of being intellectual. she'd/he'd (here now known as one) think that someway somehow, they're brighter than the rest, having beaten some ppl, even if not all, in an exam or so.

maybe in terms of maturity. one may think that oneself is much more mature than the other having gone through a lot more in life, or maybe by just judging one's self based on a tiny moment of self significance.

maybe in terms of emotions. one may think that one's self has a stronger built of emotions and a stronger heart, powerful enough to reflect even the most painful of feelings, so that one's self isn't too overwhelmed in sadness or anger.

maybe in terms of determination. one may think that they'd be able to survive longer than the rest. one may think that they can get through anything that life throws them

and many many more.

it's great sometimes that ppl think this way.
i guess it's beneficial in a way because it helps with the ego of life and may even help some ppl build self-confidence within them.

but sometimes it's just plain stupid when ppl get too full of themselves, like those bastards who think that they're great and that they'd someday rule the world and that ppl around them would soon start kneeling before them and worshipping the ground that they walk on.

i swear to you, it is the ppl of these kind that causes the world problems that even solutions cannot solve.

these are the kind of ppl who should be kept away from all others, locked in an eternal cage with no key, and thrown to another planet far far far far far far away from humankind.

think about it.

who in the world would start a war if both were humble to each other?

wars only happen because one party feels outruled by the other, or because one party overrules the other.
discrimination of races only happen because one party feels as if they deserve a lot more than the other, be it because of religion, beliefs or whatever larh..
discrimination of sex happens because one party feels the need to overpower.

so if everyone were to just be humble and not think tooooooo damn highly of themselves, then wouldn't the world be a better place?

think about it